ONgconde | 26 - 27 Sept 2025

Xhosa Weddings

Xhosa

Weddings

A Rich Tapestry of Culture and Ritual

In our culture, marriage is far more than the union of two individuals. It's the joining of two families, their clans, and ancestral lines.

A Xhosa wedding, also known as Umtshato, follows deeply rooted traditions passed down through generations. Every stage, from lobolo negotiations to ceremonial gatherings - carries symbolic weight and spiritual significance.

Marriages are regarded as a blessing, a rite of passage, and a celebration of life.

The traditions ensure not just cultural legitimacy but also spiritual alignment between the couple, their ancestors, and their communities.

In our culture, marriage is far more than the union of two individuals. It's the joining of two families, their clans, and ancestral lines.

Marriages are regarded as a blessing, a rite of passage, and a celebration of life.

The traditions ensure not just cultural legitimacy but also spiritual alignment between the couple, their ancestors, and their communities.

"So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate."

-Matthew 19:6

Step 1

Isiduko & Approval

When a man is ready to marry, he must first inform his parents — who will inquire about the isiduko (clan name) of his chosen bride. Marrying someone from the same clan is prohibited as it’s seen as marrying within one’s own family.

Once cleared, the groom’s family begins assembling a team of negotiators.

Isiduko took place;

May 2024 - September 2025

step 2

Ikhazi

This is the first formal meeting between families during lobolo negotiations. Gifts, alcohol, and symbolic items are exchanged. Once ilobolo is agreed upon and accepted, the couple is considered traditionally married, and celebrations begin — including animal slaughter to introduce the bride to the groom’s ancestors.

16 December 2024

50 Vigne Road, Summerstrand, Port Elizabeth

step 3

Ilobolo

Ilobolo is a respected custom involving the offering of cattle (or monetary value) from the groom’s family to the bride’s. It symbolises gratitude and respect to the bride’s family.

Modern ilobolo negotiations involve money, but the symbolism of cattle remains. Negotiators represent the groom to avoid direct conflict, and many factors — like education and status — influence the agreed price.

Ilobolo also legitimises the union and the children born of it, anchoring the marriage within tradition and family legacy.

Negotiations took place on the dates below;

16 December 2024

21 March 2025

27 September 2025

step 4

Amabhaso

This Xhosa version of a bridal shower is hosted by the bride’s family. It is an all-women event filled with gifts, dance, advice, and joy.

Kitchenware and household items are gifted to help the bride begin her new life. Elders also conduct the first part of Ukuyalwa — offering advice on marriage, conduct, and care.

26 September 2025

50 Vigne Road, Summerstrand, Port Elizabeth

RSVP

step 5

Ukwamukela Abayeni

This ceremony welcomes the groom and his family into the bride’s home. This is a key event in the Xhosa wedding cycle — symbolic of familial unity and spiritual alignment.

It is a festive, public affair with singing, dancing, attire, food, and formal welcome rituals.

27 September 2025

50 Vigne Road, Summerstrand, Port Elizabeth

RSVP

The Mjo family, of the Ngconde Clan, invites you to witness and take part in a deeply

meaningful and joyous celebration of marriage, culture, and community.

Day 1

Amabhaso

The Wisdom of Women: A Traditional Kitchen Party

26 September 2025

Day 2

Ukwamukela Abayeni